Sometimes I'm not sure how to get my feelings, my tender feelings across. Today, my heart feels full and humbled. I have been given beautiful children, a good man for a companion, and I was born into a family that has always loved me, accepted me and who has helped me grow. I am especially grateful today for the Atonement of my Savior, Jesus Christ. Thankful that it not only erases my mistakes, but that it also calms my troubles, heals my heart, and always allows me the assurity that someone does know how I feel and how to help. I am grateful that I get to serve and learn from some wonderful small ones in primary. Thankful that the Lord trusts me to follow what He needs done. I am grateful that my husband took me to the Temple that our marriage is not just for the time on earth, but that it can endure past this short little life. I am thankful that our 4 beautiful children our sealed to us, that they are ours and we are theirs for eternity, that someday, in the Lord's time, Josh will be with us again. I am grateful to live in the fulness of times where we have the blessing and opportunity to witness great and marvelous things being brought to the world, grateful to witness the power of the priesthood and thankful that my companion is worthy to hold that gift.
As of late, I have been discouraged, down trodden by situations we face. I have been less than gracious in bearing my "burdens" and have not trusted in the Lord as I should. Today, a day that I'm ok, I stumbled upon words from the apostles that i needed to hear weeks ago. I guess while in the mist of that problem I would not have been blessed with the tenderness that my heart felt after listening today.
I know that our Savior loves us, I know that when all else fails, He is there to carry us through our burdens no matter what they may be. I know that He lives, He loves us, and He patiently waits for us to call on His mercy to help us through any heartache, any trial, any love lost.

what a beautiful life

We now have a bright and intelligent 2nd grader, a missionary in Heaven, a spicy enchilada 2 yr old, and a new little bambina that joined our family on August 21 2012.

Steven and I have been so blessed amist some "wonderful" adventures.
Lately I've been maybe less than thankful for the simple little things that we have been given.
I have the love of a sweet little husband, that i'm not sure i deserve, especially with how feisty I can get. I have four beautiful children who i just adore and love! although it's not easy at times Steve and I have been given the opportunity to grow, learn, and somehow keep our marriage intact.

Life is a beautiful thing... love all the things that are sure to be ahead.

Lately I’ve been thoughtful. Events that have taken place have been reminiscent of the past and my heart has grown a little more. 

On April 13 2012 my sister Jennie gave birth to a still born little girl. I can only imagine the heart ache and disappointment that was brought to her, her husband and four children. On April 18 2012 they laid their little baby girl to rest until it is time to be together again. The service was sweet and innocent and it was a tremendous blessing to be there. The Spirit was strong and tender to the heart, it was beautiful!

During the five days before the memorial service my own heart ached and was my heart strings were plucked. But not for the passing of a child, it was for the loss of time they didn’t get to spend with her on this earth. My heart aches for their sorrow and grief, it aches that they have this to experience, and it aches that they must have this to bear.

But as with everything we experience in this life, I was reminded of all the joy and love that we found along the way in Josh’s passing, that they surely will also. A Savior who has overcome the world, a loving, kind, and merciful Heavenly Father, the tender thoughtful acts of others, and sweet prayers given.  An increase in faith and desire to follow the will of our Father, and small little mercies eyes are open to once again.

I testify that this is not the end, mortality is just a moment in our progression. I know that we all will live again, we all will have the opportunities to share love with those who have already passed from this life. I know that I have a Savior, Jesus Christ, who loves me, who atoned to pay for my sins and who experienced all so that I may look to Him for comfort and strength. I know that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and has a desire to bless me. I am so grateful for the comfort and care that comes when we choose to trust in Him who knows all.