Sometimes I'm not sure how to get my feelings, my tender feelings across. Today, my heart feels full and humbled. I have been given beautiful children, a good man for a companion, and I was born into a family that has always loved me, accepted me and who has helped me grow. I am especially grateful today for the Atonement of my Savior, Jesus Christ. Thankful that it not only erases my mistakes, but that it also calms my troubles, heals my heart, and always allows me the assurity that someone does know how I feel and how to help. I am grateful that I get to serve and learn from some wonderful small ones in primary. Thankful that the Lord trusts me to follow what He needs done. I am grateful that my husband took me to the Temple that our marriage is not just for the time on earth, but that it can endure past this short little life. I am thankful that our 4 beautiful children our sealed to us, that they are ours and we are theirs for eternity, that someday, in the Lord's time, Josh will be with us again. I am grateful to live in the fulness of times where we have the blessing and opportunity to witness great and marvelous things being brought to the world, grateful to witness the power of the priesthood and thankful that my companion is worthy to hold that gift.
As of late, I have been discouraged, down trodden by situations we face. I have been less than gracious in bearing my "burdens" and have not trusted in the Lord as I should. Today, a day that I'm ok, I stumbled upon words from the apostles that i needed to hear weeks ago. I guess while in the mist of that problem I would not have been blessed with the tenderness that my heart felt after listening today.
I know that our Savior loves us, I know that when all else fails, He is there to carry us through our burdens no matter what they may be. I know that He lives, He loves us, and He patiently waits for us to call on His mercy to help us through any heartache, any trial, any love lost.

what a beautiful life

We now have a bright and intelligent 2nd grader, a missionary in Heaven, a spicy enchilada 2 yr old, and a new little bambina that joined our family on August 21 2012.

Steven and I have been so blessed amist some "wonderful" adventures.
Lately I've been maybe less than thankful for the simple little things that we have been given.
I have the love of a sweet little husband, that i'm not sure i deserve, especially with how feisty I can get. I have four beautiful children who i just adore and love! although it's not easy at times Steve and I have been given the opportunity to grow, learn, and somehow keep our marriage intact.

Life is a beautiful thing... love all the things that are sure to be ahead.

Lately I’ve been thoughtful. Events that have taken place have been reminiscent of the past and my heart has grown a little more. 

On April 13 2012 my sister Jennie gave birth to a still born little girl. I can only imagine the heart ache and disappointment that was brought to her, her husband and four children. On April 18 2012 they laid their little baby girl to rest until it is time to be together again. The service was sweet and innocent and it was a tremendous blessing to be there. The Spirit was strong and tender to the heart, it was beautiful!

During the five days before the memorial service my own heart ached and was my heart strings were plucked. But not for the passing of a child, it was for the loss of time they didn’t get to spend with her on this earth. My heart aches for their sorrow and grief, it aches that they have this to experience, and it aches that they must have this to bear.

But as with everything we experience in this life, I was reminded of all the joy and love that we found along the way in Josh’s passing, that they surely will also. A Savior who has overcome the world, a loving, kind, and merciful Heavenly Father, the tender thoughtful acts of others, and sweet prayers given.  An increase in faith and desire to follow the will of our Father, and small little mercies eyes are open to once again.

I testify that this is not the end, mortality is just a moment in our progression. I know that we all will live again, we all will have the opportunities to share love with those who have already passed from this life. I know that I have a Savior, Jesus Christ, who loves me, who atoned to pay for my sins and who experienced all so that I may look to Him for comfort and strength. I know that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and has a desire to bless me. I am so grateful for the comfort and care that comes when we choose to trust in Him who knows all.

School Days

Well Mike has been in school for a little longer than a month and this friday he starts harvest break for 2 weeks, so I thought I better get something posted of him! :) This year Michael has Mrs. Shumway and he loves loves loves her! It's been a lot of joy seeing him so excited about school! Katie definetely misses him during the day and hopefully this 2 week break will help with that. She just lights up when Mike gets home. Michael is doing so well with controlling his sensory sensitivities and doing much better with focusing on his work. He loves to read and is 1 of the top 3 in his class right now in reading. So proud of him! Without further delay here are some pictures of the last little while... tada!

First Day of School and rearing to go!

And Katie Turned 1! When did that happen?!

My goodness it's been quite awhile since i posted!
Todayis Mother's Day and what a wonderful day to remember all the wonderful people in my life and all the blessings I've been given!So....

I am thankful for:

a home, may not be the most beautiful or expensive, but it holds so many wonderful & irreplaceable memories.

spring weather... hope it makes a stronger appearance soon, but non-the-less happy with what we've got.

Mrs. Weist!, Michael's kindergarten teacher. she is so talented and has been perfect for Michael!... couldn't ask for a better "first" teeacher :)

Steve's job providing for our family! very thankful!

that i get to stay home instead of working outside the home. thankful i get to be here for Michael, Katie, & a littleneighbor girl. :)

thankful for the friendship I have with my mom. glad i can talk to her about things and ask for advice.

thankful i get to help in Mike's class each week and the help i get with Katie so I can do that!

thankful I still enjoy to learn... because i have a lot left to learn!

thankful for my hubby, can't imagine having this life without him.

thankful for the Temple! Thankful that we are sealed together!!!

Grateful for our Savior, His ministry, His love, & His understanding of our needs.

So thankful for my children! Love, love, love Michael, Josh, and Katie! can't wait to have all of us together again!

and the last for today... I am thankful for Hope... it's not just wishing, it's doing our part for things in the future.

2 yrs ago...

2 yrs ago at about this time, Steve and I were loading up our twins in the van, we didn't know that we would only come back home with Michael. Today and tomorrow are special days in our family, they are the days when we felt the most pain and yet also two of the days that we have been able to feel our Father in Heaven's love the strongest and the magnitude and significance of the Atonement the most. The wounds are still raw on occasion and tears are still shed at times, but with the Lord's help we have been blessed abundantly with peace, comfort and joy in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

We have a testimony of our Savior, Jesus Christ. We know that He came to succor His people to come to Him. We know that He gave His life so that we may all live again. We are thankful for our Heavenly Father's plan of happiness. We may not know all the details, but it is enough to know and to trust that He knows. We have a testimony of the Gospel and Eternal Families, we know that that gift is real! What a glorious blessing to have in our life!

Oh our darling, Joshua. We love you, we miss you, we look forward to the day that we can hold you again!

Random pics from throughout the 2nd half of the year

like i said, random pictures! too much fun, i just love my familia so very much!!!

so many things to catch up on!

boy, I am not so good at this journaling thing lately! So let's start with

THANKSGIVING

our Thanksgiving was busy like always, we went to Steve's family gathering first and then to the Woolstenhulme side. It was nice to see all the family, but I must admit I don't know how much longer I can do this... This year we did a count down to Thanksgiving, we had so much fun with it!!! Each day we had an activity to do each day that went along with what we were thankful for that day. Our favorites were:

Steve's favorites
*kitchen: we cleaned up the kitchen and then made some treats for others... I think we made scotcheroos that day with a note that said "Happy 18 days til Thanksgiving!" one friend we took them too was take a little of guard, but said that we could take them a treat for every day until Thanksgiving :)
*neighbors: Steve helped get treats ready for neighbors and just in his style loves to do sweet things for those around him.
*pies: I spent the day baking pies, Steve and Mike took them to members of our ward and then enjoyed the leftovers!

Michael's favorites:
*neighbors: he and Kourtney(our neighbor) took 2 liters of soda to some neighbors of their choice with a note that said "just popping in to tell you we are thankful for you!"
*brothers: Mike chose to send a green balloon to Heaven so Josh could have that from us. We each gave it a great big hug and kiss and sent it up to him.
*hands: we spent (tried to) the day drawing, coloring, playing etc to use our hands. We even made those lovely hand turkeys :)

My favorites
*Jesus Christ: we did a little FHE all about Christ and His mission on earth
*pies: I baked pies all day, then Steve and Mike took them to people in our ward
*home: that meant I got some help cleaning up the house! hooray!

We have been so tremendously blessed this year as always, what a wonderful wonderful way to remember!

Later that night we helped decorate Grandma Bean's family Christmas tree... it was great fun with all the cousins and thank heavens that Katie was pretty good that day!

DECEMBER

December started with a bang, sort of! I chose to make most of the Christmas gifts that we gave to others this year and man I was busy! I had so much fun! My house wasn't as decorated as I really enjoy, but it was ok... next year will be different. I will have to go get pics of the things I made and gave away... silly me!
Some of the things I made were: a bathrobe for Mike, a stuffed owl for Katie, fleece socks for Steph with a cute white flower on the side, a felt pizza kit for our niece Didi, a zipper flower brooch for my mom, Desert of the month club for Steve (not my most creative), candy boxes for vts, teachers, etc that my mom showed me how to make, mustache cups for some family and

friends, fun headbands for our niece McKenna that included one with a zipper flower, snowflake, ruffles, and then some bobby pins, I made rice bags, ribbon and pearl necklaces, I can't quite think of what else at the moment, but I had such a wonderful time doing it! Steve and Mike got into it too,
Steve painted me a nativity, sewed me pj pants (yes he learned to sew), he made Mike stilts and a lap desk, and he made Katie some burp cloths.
Mike made (with Steve) stilts for his cousin Harrison, a marshmallow gun for his cousin Isaac, (with me)cloths pin magnets for his grandmas, caprisun juice pouch coin purses for two of his aunts, and then a cupcake ornament for his teacher Mrs. Weist.
I don't know if I have really ever had a Christmas quite like this one... we put so much more thought and love into each gift because we made them! I think it will become a tradition in our household! (i know sad, the only pic I actually took)

It's that time of year

So it is now almost Thanksgiving and i still have not even posted a really good picture of my KatieLynn! Mike has been such a good sport and tries to be ever so "helpful"... we've been really blessed by the Lord this year and are grateful for the love we have been able to share as a family and the many blessings we receive daily.
This year for Thanksgiving we decided to do a countdown to thanksgiving by focusing on something we are thankful for each day until thanksgiving, but decided that wasn't quite enough so we rounded out the month and have 30 days of specific thankfulness to celebrate. We've been thankful for our kitchen, that day so far has been my favorite... i made pies all day :), we've been thankful for our ears and listened to wonderful music all day, we've been thankful for prayer and had a special family prayer where we could only say thank you to our Father in Heaven for all He has given us, we also had a day where we were specifically thankful for brothers and we sent a special green balloon full of our love to Josh up in heaven.
What a wonderful time of year to be celebrating the blessings we have been given! I'm so excited for the rest of this holiday season, hopefully we will be able to carry on being thankful everyday for all we have been given!
P.S. we are thankful for our family and friends!!!

The night before Katie was born... saying seriously... why am I going home?!

our little gaggle! ;) & Michael with his new glasses, he's doing great with them!



Doesn't he look charming?! love him!

Little Katie on her blessing day! oh my darling