I want to write about my Michael moo. He is such a wonderful blessing and joy to have in our home. He brings us new adventures everyday and what fun they are! in June Mike and Steve went on the father/son camp out up at green canyon hot springs. Mike had so much fun and still talks about going on another "picnic" with dad, "only boys" he tells me. He had fun with his friend Jonas who went up too. They went swimming and played with a stray dog. They set up tents, ate hot dogs, and I'm sure he was spoiled more than he should have been.
Steve was very daring I have to say, he let Mike sleep in his very own tent ALL BY HIMSELF! Probably good that I didn't know that until after they were safe and sound at home. ;)

Mike is so full of energy and life! He loves playing super heroes. The green hulk that is "so bad" and SUPER Y are his favorites. he even thinks that when he is playing pretend he has to do a spin to change characters! I love it!!! He's become so inquisitive about things and wants to do everything himself, which can be a problem, but what's life without the little adventures of experience? Oh! I just love this boy!

I'll have to find pictures from the camp out later
does anyone else have problems finding pictures on the computer? I guess that's what I get from only having steve put them on the computer ;)

Six months and trying to move forward

We have "hit" and moved through the 6 month mark. It's not been easy, but we've truly been blessed by so many of our neighbors and friends who still remember that we are still grieving, still trying to understand and accept God's will for our little family. We've learned quite a few things and hope that our memories will remain vivid of the joy we all had together when we were complete and not missing one.

Life does push us on though and I've found that sometimes it's a good thing. It seems (at least at the moment) that the old saying "time heals" is either not true or we all try to rush things faster than we should. I had this naive thought that I would already be "okay" and back to normal. I didn't want to accept the "stigma" of the thing it seems a lot of people tell you... "new normal." But it really is true. Our home is quieter and not so hectic, some days I wish for the challenges because i feel guilty not having to struggle as much anymore. I wish the guilt I feel would make some type of difference, but it doesn't and really, I am thankful that things are a little easier. Just wish it didn't "get easier" this way.

I've found it hard to be with family sometimes. They have their children, their families are whole, mine doesn't feel that way. It feels oddly out of place, like we are just visiting a strange place and we will get back to normal hopefully soon. In all actuality it is that way. We all are "just visiting." Having a perspective like that has helped us try to keep the spirituality that we were blessed with during the first month or so. I hope that in the future there are many days of happiness and less days of sorrow.

Joshua Jay Hansen
March 9 2005 ~ January 19 2009
Oh, how we love and miss our little boy