The Hansen Family Adventures

School Days

2011-09-20T07:52:00.005-06:00

Well Mike has been in school for a little longer than a month and this friday he starts harvest break for 2 weeks, so I thought I better get something posted of him! :) This year Michael has Mrs. Shumway and he loves loves loves her! It's been a lot of joy seeing him so excited about school! Katie definetely misses him during the day and hopefully this 2 week break will help with that. She just lights up when Mike gets home. Michael is doing so well with controlling his sensory sensitivities and doing much better with focusing on his work. He loves to read and is 1 of the top 3 in his class right now in reading. So proud of him! Without further delay here are some pictures of the last little while... tada!

First Day of School and rearing to go!

And Katie Turned 1! When did that happen?!

2011-05-08T22:44:00.002-06:00

My goodness it's been quite awhile since i posted!
Todayis Mother's Day and what a wonderful day to remember all the wonderful people in my life and all the blessings I've been given!So....

I am thankful for:

a home, may not be the most beautiful or expensive, but it holds so many wonderful & irreplaceable memories.

spring weather... hope it makes a stronger appearance soon, but non-the-less happy with what we've got.

Mrs. Weist!, Michael's kindergarten teacher. she is so talented and has been perfect for Michael!... couldn't ask for a better "first" teeacher :)

Steve's job providing for our family! very thankful!

that i get to stay home instead of working outside the home. thankful i get to be here for Michael, Katie, & a littleneighbor girl. :)

thankful for the friendship I have with my mom. glad i can talk to her about things and ask for advice.

thankful i get to help in Mike's class each week and the help i get with Katie so I can do that!

thankful I still enjoy to learn... because i have a lot left to learn!

thankful for my hubby, can't imagine having this life without him.

thankful for the Temple! Thankful that we are sealed together!!!

Grateful for our Savior, His ministry, His love, & His understanding of our needs.

So thankful for my children! Love, love, love Michael, Josh, and Katie! can't wait to have all of us together again!

and the last for today... I am thankful for Hope... it's not just wishing, it's doing our part for things in the future.

2 yrs ago...

2011-01-18T17:39:00.004-07:00

2 yrs ago at about this time, Steve and I were loading up our twins in the van, we didn't know that we would only come back home with Michael. Today and tomorrow are special days in our family, they are the days when we felt the most pain and yet also two of the days that we have been able to feel our Father in Heaven's love the strongest and the magnitude and significance of the Atonement the most. The wounds are still raw on occasion and tears are still shed at times, but with the Lord's help we have been blessed abundantly with peace, comfort and joy in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

We have a testimony of our Savior, Jesus Christ. We know that He came to succor His people to come to Him. We know that He gave His life so that we may all live again. We are thankful for our Heavenly Father's plan of happiness. We may not know all the details, but it is enough to know and to trust that He knows. We have a testimony of the Gospel and Eternal Families, we know that that gift is real! What a glorious blessing to have in our life!

Oh our darling, Joshua. We love you, we miss you, we look forward to the day that we can hold you again!

Random pics from throughout the 2nd half of the year

2010-12-29T12:07:00.016-07:00

like i said, random pictures! too much fun, i just love my familia so very much!!!

so many things to catch up on!

2010-12-29T10:46:00.004-07:00

boy, I am not so good at this journaling thing lately! So let's start with

THANKSGIVING

our Thanksgiving was busy like always, we went to Steve's family gathering first and then to the Woolstenhulme side. It was nice to see all the family, but I must admit I don't know how much longer I can do this... This year we did a count down to Thanksgiving, we had so much fun with it!!! Each day we had an activity to do each day that went along with what we were thankful for that day. Our favorites were:

Steve's favorites
*kitchen: we cleaned up the kitchen and then made some treats for others... I think we made scotcheroos that day with a note that said "Happy 18 days til Thanksgiving!" one friend we took them too was take a little of guard, but said that we could take them a treat for every day until Thanksgiving :)
*neighbors: Steve helped get treats ready for neighbors and just in his style loves to do sweet things for those around him.
*pies: I spent the day baking pies, Steve and Mike took them to members of our ward and then enjoyed the leftovers!

Michael's favorites:
*neighbors: he and Kourtney(our neighbor) took 2 liters of soda to some neighbors of their choice with a note that said "just popping in to tell you we are thankful for you!"
*brothers: Mike chose to send a green balloon to Heaven so Josh could have that from us. We each gave it a great big hug and kiss and sent it up to him.
*hands: we spent (tried to) the day drawing, coloring, playing etc to use our hands. We even made those lovely hand turkeys :)

My favorites
*Jesus Christ: we did a little FHE all about Christ and His mission on earth
*pies: I baked pies all day, then Steve and Mike took them to people in our ward
*home: that meant I got some help cleaning up the house! hooray!

We have been so tremendously blessed this year as always, what a wonderful wonderful way to remember!

Later that night we helped decorate Grandma Bean's family Christmas tree... it was great fun with all the cousins and thank heavens that Katie was pretty good that day!

DECEMBER

December started with a bang, sort of! I chose to make most of the Christmas gifts that we gave to others this year and man I was busy! I had so much fun! My house wasn't as decorated as I really enjoy, but it was ok... next year will be different. I will have to go get pics of the things I made and gave away... silly me!
Some of the things I made were: a bathrobe for Mike, a stuffed owl for Katie, fleece socks for Steph with a cute white flower on the side, a felt pizza kit for our niece Didi, a zipper flower brooch for my mom, Desert of the month club for Steve (not my most creative), candy boxes for vts, teachers, etc that my mom showed me how to make, mustache cups for some family and

friends, fun headbands for our niece McKenna that included one with a zipper flower, snowflake, ruffles, and then some bobby pins, I made rice bags, ribbon and pearl necklaces, I can't quite think of what else at the moment, but I had such a wonderful time doing it! Steve and Mike got into it too,
Steve painted me a nativity, sewed me pj pants (yes he learned to sew), he made Mike stilts and a lap desk, and he made Katie some burp cloths.
Mike made (with Steve) stilts for his cousin Harrison, a marshmallow gun for his cousin Isaac, (with me)cloths pin magnets for his grandmas, caprisun juice pouch coin purses for two of his aunts, and then a cupcake ornament for his teacher Mrs. Weist.
I don't know if I have really ever had a Christmas quite like this one... we put so much more thought and love into each gift because we made them! I think it will become a tradition in our household! (i know sad, the only pic I actually took)

It's that time of year

2010-11-14T16:16:00.008-07:00

So it is now almost Thanksgiving and i still have not even posted a really good picture of my KatieLynn! Mike has been such a good sport and tries to be ever so "helpful"... we've been really blessed by the Lord this year and are grateful for the love we have been able to share as a family and the many blessings we receive daily.
This year for Thanksgiving we decided to do a countdown to thanksgiving by focusing on something we are thankful for each day until thanksgiving, but decided that wasn't quite enough so we rounded out the month and have 30 days of specific thankfulness to celebrate. We've been thankful for our kitchen, that day so far has been my favorite... i made pies all day :), we've been thankful for our ears and listened to wonderful music all day, we've been thankful for prayer and had a special family prayer where we could only say thank you to our Father in Heaven for all He has given us, we also had a day where we were specifically thankful for brothers and we sent a special green balloon full of our love to Josh up in heaven.
What a wonderful time of year to be celebrating the blessings we have been given! I'm so excited for the rest of this holiday season, hopefully we will be able to carry on being thankful everyday for all we have been given!
P.S. we are thankful for our family and friends!!!

The night before Katie was born... saying seriously... why am I going home?!

our little gaggle! ;) & Michael with his new glasses, he's doing great with them!

Doesn't he look charming?! love him!

Little Katie on her blessing day! oh my darling

update

2010-09-10T12:32:00.002-06:00

So many things have happened that I feel very behind and I'm not sure where to start!

Events:
On July 27, 2010 We welcomed miss KatieLynn to our familia! She was born @ 2:17 p.m. and weighed 8 lbs 2 oz. She is healthy and a pretty easy going little girl, but man does she have some projection in her voice already! When she was born she scared Dr. Nelson with how loud she was :) She is such a wonderful addition to our family and we feel really blessed that Heavenly Father sent her to our family!

Mike:
Michael really enjoyed the summer, I think? He played t-ball and absolutely loved it! We started reading this summer and he is really picking up on sounding out words correctly! I love it... he even read me a whole book the other night! Proud mama moment *sigh* We made some new friends and he played to exhaustion on occassion. He went camping and the highlights according to him were the lightning storms and the fact that he stepped in cow poop. :) what a cutie! He is trying to be really helpful with Katie and loves her oh so very much! He has his moments of wanting the attention and has an issue with it, but all in all he is doing much better than I thought. Michael loves singing the primary songs, at home, he has a little stage-fright and doesn't really sing the songs right at church, but he tries and I love to hear his voice singing the beautiful words to the tender songs. Michael loves to sing "I am a Child of God" to Katie when she is crying and it has helped her calm down a few times. AND Michael seemingly had the final say on what to name his baby sister. ;)

Steve & I:
besides getting ready for a new little one, Steve was finally busy with work and we were able to catch-up on some bills. We enjoyed trying to decide on names for our little girl and had our hearts set on Katelyn Marie, but after 24 hrs of having her in our arms... it was definitely wrong and we realized she was Katie Lynn. We feel so blessed to have the families that we do and are so thankful for little children Heavenly Father has sent to our home.

Having a new little one in our home has been an interesting transition after the passing of our JoshuaJay. There are days when it seems as if Josh was just here a week ago and that Katie has been here for months and months. Katie seems to be an answer to prayers of pain and sorrow and has become a balm of Gilead of sorts for the wound that has been left in our family since Josh passed away. We know that our family will be ALL together again and we are so thankful for the sacrifice that Christ has made in our behalf.

Good Things to Come

2010-07-22T22:12:00.002-06:00

So I took the title of this post from a MormonMessage by Elder Holland. Lately it's felt as if the world is kind of cruel and unforgiving place and I'm sure that I've done my part in adding to that, so when my friend posted a link on her facebook page to Elder Hollands message it brought tears to my eyes.

In the past week it seems that another one of those milestones hit me harder than I expected, 18 months. It's been 18 months since I last held my boy, my Joshua Jay. Still miss him, but I understand more of his mission that he is on now. I've been very blessed to be on this journey, I know blessed is the word I used. I haven't enjoyed very much of it, but as I and my family have learned to and experimented upon the Lord's promises, we have been given courage, comfort, and the ability to look beyond what is immediate and look to what is eternal. It's an amazing feeling to know, I mean to really know, that someone you love is working and waiting in the Spirit world.

i've had a lot of mixed feelings lately as the birth of our daughter is approaching, feelings that I didn't think I would experience. I've felt guilty, anxious, and a bit depressed. But again trying to have faith in the Lord's plan worked out. even with my the little bit of faith I have had at trying times, the abundance of what the Lord has poured out upon our family has been amazing. So many prayers have been answered in unexpected ways, thankfully we have been able to accept them even when it's been a way we haven't enjoyed.

We've had our challenges, we have our challenges and are trying to keep our chin up.
I haven't really gotten to my point, but really my point is good things come, you just have to hang on. If you have an opportunity, if you want a quick 5 minute pick-me-up Elder Holland's message "Good Things to Come" is excellent (I'm sorry I don't have the link)

"Don't you quit... you keep trying, there is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon, Some come late, and some don't come until Heaven... you will be alright in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come." ~Elder Holland

P.S. 1 wk 2 days until we welcome our little girl.

Things that I love

2010-05-06T13:26:00.003-06:00

So the other night I was in a feisty mood while I was trying to go to sleep, so I decided to start listing things in my head that I love and am thankful for. To keep in that spirit of gratitude I've tried to keep it up the last few days so, without further adieu ... things that I love

I LOVE:

~ when the sun shines, especially on gloomy days
~ seeing my family happy
~ feeling peace and calm about trials
~ enjoying nature
~ my husband and confidant, Steven
~ watching Michael learn something new and really understand it.
~ adventures, but mostly when I get to look back on them... sometimes they can be pretty scary
~ my children (Michael, Josh, and the new little one coming in July)
~ to learn... again mostly when I get to look back on what I learned
~ to read
~ to understand how people work... should have been a psych major.
~ the scriptures and the spirit they can bring into a home
~ music, especially primary music. what can I say, I've been in some part of primary for 7 yrs.
~ finding out that someone who you just wanted happiness for, is happy.
~ experiencing joy unexpectedly
~ serving without knowing that you were doing a service.
~a friendly note in the mail... not e-mail, but the real mail always makes me smile ;)
~ being able to recognize that my prayers are answered
~ time with my husband... dates area fabulous!
~ reading time with Mike... especially when it's dinosaurs... he Loves dinosaurs!
~ seeing little wisps of Josh in things that Michael does
~ understanding the strengths and challenges that Mike and other kids have
~finding that I can have patience... can being the operative word. :)
~ feeling loved
~ finding a friend that I didn't know I had.
~ talking for hours about everything going on with someone I love... thanks Steve ;)
~being friends with my sisters and mom
~the adventures of parenthood and being an aunt to some wonderful kids (wish Utah and Arizona weren't so far away)
~ finding pictures on the computer that I haven't been able to find for months and months... like this one:

Me and my two super heroes on a walk... my most favorite of all. summer of 2008
(thanks for taking that pic babe! I didn't realize how special a pic like that would be to me until now)

I could keep going, but I'm sure at some point I will be doing this again. It seems that when we look at all our blessings and count them, they grow into a vast array of beauty and joy. The other night I definitely needed it! Love you all.

Little Thought

2010-03-27T12:18:00.008-06:00

When I stand before God at the end of my life,
I would hope that I would not have
a single bit of talent left,
and could say,
“I used everything you gave me.”

~Erma Bombeck~

makes me wonder what talents i've been given and if i'm wasting them.

Wonderful March!

2010-03-27T11:01:00.004-06:00

Oh joy! is anyone else enjoying the beautiful weather?! This month has been pretty wonderful! Mike turned 5.... Yes 5! He had a good birthday I'm assuming because he was pretty happy. On his birthday, he went to school, wore the birthday badge (which is a big deal in his class), took cupcakes for the treat at school which to his specifications had worms on them, came home, had a short rest and then got to open presents from Steve and I. He chose to go to McDonald's for dinner (blah) and had fun running around the play place there, then we went to visit grandma and grandpa bean to take them some cupcakes. Mike got to spend some time playing don't break the ice with grandpa and then it was time to come home. So not really exciting, but he was happy and that's what was important :). He was really excited when we got home and there were a few messages on the answering machine for him.

We planned a birthday party for the Saturday after his birthday and it was a lot of fun. Thankfully not all the kids he invited could come! He made a list of 19 and I think we had 10 able to come. I'm glad there were not more... I failed to realize how crowded it can get in our house. The kids played a version of musical chairs where they just had to sit down when the music stopped... i was a little afraid of injuries with chairs, a balloon crab walk race, and a catch the caterpillar's scarf game before we opened presents.

(Mike was so excited about the presents he was given)

After we opened presents it was time for cake, but where was the cake? Steve had hidden it and then the kids had to go on a treasure hunt of sorts to find it. It was really fun, especially at the end when they had to do the hokey pokey for the last clue which included aunt Becky and aunt Jennie getting into it :) Steve was hiding in our pantry trying to eat the cake and the kids thought it was pretty fun to chase uncle steve who was carrying a cake.

(the hunt begins! )

Mike had so much fun and was exhausted after everyone left... and so was I!

I am so thankful that I have Michael! He is always such an adventure!
I love hearing his imagination going wild with the stories he comes up with for his cars or spacemen. He loves to ask questions about everything, loves to play in costumes, and sings at the top of his lungs especially with "follow the prophet"! Mike is sometimes very sensitive and thankfully pretty loving of the people around him. He is so excited about this summer and t-ball. hopefully swimming lessons too, but we'll see, Steve wants to teach him.
He has come a very long way in his life... that's kind of weird to say, but it's true! he's come from being little scrawny boy at 5lbs 6 oz to a tall for his age 42lbs and 4ft 1 1/2", I know he's not huge, but I can't seem to keep clothes that are long enough on him! Mike has now started to get ready for Kindergarten... hip hip hooray! he's memorized almost all the sight words and is starting to understand the concept of sounding words out. He loves reading and asking questions, especially the question "what kind?" which can get a little frustrating when he asks it in about strange things. He still struggles somewhat with language skills like comprehension and expression, but that's just part of PDD (pervasive development delay) that most preemies have. He tries really hard to please his teachers, his family, and Heavenly Father. He loves primary and even (sometimes) sacrament meeting. Michael loves pizza, hates tomatoes, and enjoys scaring his mom(sounds a bit like Steve). MY BOY IS SUCH A JOY!

We still celebrated the birth of our little Joshua Jay and were really thankful for a thoughtful neighbor who somehow knew it would be a difficult for our family and brought us a pie. It was a wonderful surprise and a blessing I didn't know I needed. Josh is still a big part of our family, it's sometimes disappointing that people (family, friends, whomever) act as if recognizing that will bring us a lot of pain, but it's just the opposite. When people intentionally act as if he was never here it tears my heart open. It helps to hear that others still know his name and use it and remember that he is and always will be part of my family, that they don't just skip over the memories that involved him, and it helps when others realize that any tears that are shed are not because of excruciating pain, but because we love him so very much. To put it in a simpler way, I have a missionary in the field. The difference between me and a mother of a 19 yr old missionary, is that I don't get letters, or a phone call twice a year. Two years will be up, but my son will probably not be coming back to me, but he will still be serving and do the Lord's work. I do get perks though, I get to have that little piece of heaven in my home always, I get to feel his spirit near every once in awhile, and I know he is always safe where he is.

My boys came into this world in a way I never expected... together. They are separated now, but not forever. Michael still asks questions and talks about Josh. We still go out to the cemetery to visit every once in awhile and enjoy the peace that is felt there. I worry that memories will fade as Mike gets older, but I've been very comforted by the Lord in knowing that our family is sealed together. We've just got to make it back to our Father in Heaven too :) We are so excited that our little GIRL (we're having a girl in July) gets to have time with her older brother Josh in a perfect beautiful place!

Just some random news

2010-02-19T22:30:00.007-07:00

We've been keeping busy with life like every one else and we are thoroughly enjoying life!
Steve is enjoying work and loves learning more about the financial industry, he's hoping to start studying for his investment license soon, but we will see how time works out and flies! He's still the Scout Master in our ward and enjoys working with the few boys that are still in the deacons quorum. Steve went to Washington for work with his dad at the beginning of February and sounds like they had a great time. It was his dad, Larry, himself, and his cousin, Graig. They seemed to have more fun than work and it sounds like they will have to make one more trip in the next few weeks to finish the job. Steve keeps busy and thankfully he's been able to balance time for the family and work and scouts. Even when it means that Mike goes to a meeting with him.... Mike loves it!!!

Mike as happy as all get out after going to work with dad. He came home with some snickers candy from a real millionaire. He was so excited even though he had no idea what that meant. Excuse the woman at the side... it was still during the puking stage. Doesn't he look handsome?

below: Mike's newcast

Mike has been busy with preschool and having an imagination as huge as the sky it seems! The other day he gave me a news report about his toys and even had commercial breaks... he would break by giving the signature local news line... "local people, local news." He is such fun with the things he comes up with! He loves watching the Olympics and enjoyed the little he was able to stay awake for of the opening ceremony... which were wonderful! He even will go around the house lately ice skating, but couldn't quite figure out why he wasn't able to spin on the ground like they could. Preschool has definitely been busy lately it seems, but Mike really enjoys it and especially loves the new aide, whom he flirts with ALL the time... she's in our ward. Mike loves singing especially the days of the week song that sounds like the Adam's family song. We let him watch part of the Star Wars: Episode One a couple of weeks back and now he uses a k'nex rod to fight "the ducks" all over the house (He thought that the droids looked a lot like ducks), it's been a ton of fun especially when Steve gets in the fray :)

Mike is doing well with recognizing sight words and will probably be a kid that memorizes everything. He has that elated look on his face when he realizes that he has memorized something... like a new primary song, a new word, and the words to his favorite books.
I think that must be the most wonderful feeling... when you get to see your child really intrigued and happy with what they've done!

We are continuously working on SPD lately and increasing Mike's fine motor skills with "homework." Mike has loved homework lately and that's made the extra work easier. Today's homework was to make snowballs. Making "snowballs" not only strengthens small muscles in the hand, but also wakes them up to get them ready to work (writing, coloring, cutting). We scrunched up as many snowballs out of paper as we could and then had a great indoors family snowball fight! It was a lot of fun!!! Something I'm sure we will keep doing just for kicks!

snowball fight! Mike and Steve with their game faces on! :)

I'm starting to throw myself back into learning as much as I can about SPD and other "disabilities" (lack of a better word) that hold kid back from learning, and doing the best that they can. It's an interesting adventure. I've been cross referencing some of the challenges Mike has with activities that can help with those things. I just want to know all that I can right now. It's been fun e-mailing OT's and talking to the speech therapists and other people who are involved with helping these kids. A little frustrating because it seems that too often hands are tied by rules, or parents don't have the time or resources to help, or the kid is just missed and labeled as a bad kid. What an unfair disadvantage! I am very thankful to have the time, to have the resources, and the spit fire to stand my ground when my mother's instinct tells me what's going on with my child... wish I had a little more of that to not doubt myself so much :)
Some of the things we are starting to try with Mike is for his vestibular system... inner ear. He enjoys it a lot and so does Steve. It involves standing on his head for a few minutes, swinging around, spinning, and tumbling. I still need to get some more info. and tips from our OT, but it's seeming to help him come back to calm attention when he needs it. He really likes it when he gets to stand on his head and read a book! What a wonderful adventure learning is!!!

Sensory Processing Disorder

2010-02-10T13:05:00.003-07:00

Today I had a great conversation with a friend who has challenges in common with me and it was great to remember that there are other people around who have to deal with the "it" too. We both have children who have a sensory processing disorder or SPD. It's not horrible, but sometimes it can be a little frustrating especially when others don't understand and just think you need to "reign in" your child, who think your child is just a trouble maker, or who think your child is spoiled. So for the benefit of just getting it out there,

SPD is: the inability to use information received through the senses in order to function smoothly in life (The Out of Sync Child, Kranowitz, 9). In other words, the brain is just wired a little different and processes differently than most people.

For example if you were running and tripped your brain would send out a message saying "Catch yourself!" But for a child/person with SPD, specifically dyspraxia(difficulty in motor planning), they wouldn't get the message fast enough or maybe at all and may result in injury.

The kid doesn't have control of it and ideally would be taught how to cope with the challenge. Sometimes children are thought to be mean or aggressive when they may just be rigid with certain things. Example: Rudy shut the door on Alice's fingers. Seems mean, right? But, when you look at it from Rudy's view... mom really wants that door to stay shut... she's told him several hundred times... he thinks he is just following the rules and helping mom. I'm not saying that is always the case, but I know it can be and if you take the time to look from the view of the child you can usually tell what the motive is. It seems there is a very fine line when it comes to what was intentional and what was not. Finding the balance can sometimes really be annoying.

It can also effect social interaction, self regulation, and the ability to learn.
With Mike it still cracks me up sometimes when I vacuum. He comes running into whatever room yelling at the top of his lungs that "it's too loud!" and yet still needs to sit and watch to make sure it doesn't get louder... of course with his hands over his ears or with his head phones on. We've been blessed to have had great teachers, our OTs, to help us learn how to help Mike and Josh with it. They taught me two techniques that really helped them settle down and start to learn to self regulate... brushing and joint compression.

I usually get really weird looks at church when I do this, but the benefit for Mike and the primary teacher are worth it. Why do they work? Well in the words of Sean (Josh's OT) "Brushing provides a deep pressure on the skin, which stimulates the nerve endings to send impulses to the brain. As these impulses go to the brain, the brain is bombarded with this sensory input, causing it to calm or regulate which helps the individual tolerate adverse stimuli. Brushing mainly provides tactile/touch inpulse to the brain and this type of stimulis is effective for a maximum of 2 hours. Joint compression is a proprioceptive type of stimulus which is our awareness of where our body parts are. This stimulis has a much longer lasting effect on the brain as it has to process it. Brushing and joint compression provide the brain with appropriate input or desensitizes the brain to allow it to tolerate or process irritating or obnoxious stimuli. All the sensory input that we receive has an effect on us. It can be stimulating, calming, irritating, or non-important. Brushing and joint compression have a tendency with a majority of the population to cause a calming affect. We are trying to use this calming
affect to help Mike or Josh to deal with irritating stimuli by having
the brain regulated with safe sensory input."

This is Sean and Josh in body socks that gave Josh enough proprioceptive input that he could attend to tasks for longer than normal. It made quite a difference. Funny how little things do that.

It was really worth it! So, I know this was really long winded, but hopefully it helps someone out there who happens upon this. There's still a ton more info on SPD and the different ways it affects people and different ways to help (deep pressure/ weighted blankets), but I've written enough. If you want to know what types of things to look for here's a link to a check list/ website that I've found helpful. Have a wonderful day!

Calm Inevitability Jan. 20 2010

2010-02-08T13:26:00.003-07:00

A year has now passed from the last time I was able to hold my little Joshua Jay on this earth. It’s been 12 months of ups, downs and many, many inbetweens. Sometimes it felt as if no one could understand the longing, the miserable missing, and the incredible guilt that can come from being a parent and not being able save your child. It’s been a year of a few steps forward and a few steps back, hopefully more forward than back. Steven, Michael, and I have been blessed with peace, comfort, knowledge, and understanding during this ordeal. We have been blessed so abundantly by the Lord this passed year, sometimes it didn’t seem like a blessing, but it’s always ended up being another testament that the Lord knows and is much, much wiser than ourselves. There are still many questions of “why did this happen?” and “does it ever stop pricking at your heart?” But again the blessings have rolled in in unexpected ways to help our family feel love and comfort. I have appreciated so much the kindness and understanding that I have received from a thoughtful visiting teaching companion, little girls in the activity day group, my mother and father, my siblings and their families. In circumstances where grief is great, having people show that they care is a tremendous mercy that I don’t think we realize until we need it especially when it comes from those whom we love and are close to.

During the past weekend it was impossible to ignore the reminiscing in my heart of the events of last year. It seems as though Steve and Michael felt the same way too. Sunday was the hardest because it was “that day” last year. It was the last day that Joshua was here, the last time we heard his voice, last time we carried him, the last time I could wrap him up, last time we were able to feel like a complete family. Michael has talked a lot of Josh in the last week and even the night he passed away. I had a hope that Mike wouldn’t remember very much because I thought it might be too traumatic, but he remembers quite a bit. Michael remembers Josh being upset at the doctors, giving him a hug, taking him movies, and me cuddling Josh in the hospital bed to keep him warm. We were very blessed that night to have my parents and sister there to watch over Mike and give us a lot of support, support that I’m sure they never wanted to have to give. Steve and I remembered the doctor’s kindness, the surreal feeling it all had, and making Dr. Porter sit on the ground and answer blunt questions about what to do. We remember that calm peace that was placed lovingly in our hearts that night as we spent time holding Josh’s body and trying to accept the Lord’s will for us. We remember kind nurses and hospital staff giving us all the time we needed in the room and the Priesthood blessings we were given. But the most important thing that we remember is how abundant and unrestrained the Lord’s spirit and love was that night. We are so thankful that we were able to feel Josh near us even though he had passed and thankful that we were able to be peaceful.

Michael picked out a spider man car to take to the cemetery along with an elephant (Josh’s favorite), an alligator, but not a lion which Michael let us know was something Josh liked. We also took out white balloons because it’s too cold for flowers. My mom came down on Tuesday and took some pretty orange and yellow silk tulips to Josh’s grave, which just brightened my day. We spent some time together talking and remembering time with the family, it was nice to have that time with her and know that she understands that pain and ache that I sometimes feel. Steve helped me be calm and accepting and just helped me feel loved. We were going to go out to dinner to Leo’s because Michael and Josh loved to play there together, but Michael has strep and that’s been another wonderful adventure ;). We feel a lot of gratitude for Michael and his wonderful appetite for life. He’s such a joy and a blessing to have in our home and part of our eternal family. I know someday we’ll be given answers as to why Michael and Josh were sent to us together only to have Josh leave us earlier than we ever thought. We are thankful that Lord has always answered our prayers and taken care to help heal our hearts. He has given us hope. Hope enough to look forward to the future, to the adventures we still get to experience on this earth, and hope to keeping moving until we are all together again.

I know that someday joy will be unrestrained as we all are reunited to those whom we have been separated from. But for now we find strength and joy in our loved ones we have with us and hope in the future.

Always loved, Always an adventure, Always will be missed.
Until we meet again, we love you, our little Joshua Jay.

2010-01-15T13:53:00.002-07:00

Wow! it's been quite a bit longer than i anticipated since I wrote last.
Our December was somewhat eventful with the news that we would be adding a new little one to our family in July! We are so excited... Steve I think the most! It was a surprise... a BIG surprise to us.
I have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) which causes infertility and other wonderful side effects, so we were starting to think that taking fertility treatments would be the way we would have another member in our family.... we were wrong. It's been almost five years since I have been pregnant and I have to say that I don't remember a lot of things! Thankfully my next door neighbor is a wonderful patient woman who just happens to work as a nurse in an OB office! She has been wonderful answering my, I'm sure, nervous nellie questions. I didn't remember all the nausea and tiredness. WOW!
I am, however, very blessed with a fabulous husband who has had sympathy for me and been at my beckon call when he's been home. I just love that man!

We had a good Christmas, a little somber, but good. Sometimes it is surprising the way things prick your heart and also the way the Lord calms us all. Michael seemed very aware this holiday season that Josh was missing... more than I thought he would. He kept asking what toys Santa was taking to Josh in heaven and if Josh would get to come down for Christmas. I wish that was the way it worked, that they could just come visit when we needed them; but then we wouldn't need faith and patience. Michael enjoyed the weeks up to Christmas with all that was going on at school and the few flakes we got. He was so excited about everything! There was one friday morning he came in to wake me up and announced that it was Christmas morning! I asked him if there were presents in our stockings, a little perplexed he looked and then was a little disappointed :( On Christmas morning we took our time... 8:30 wahoo! Mike was so stoked though that he bypassed his present from santa to make sure the milk was gone! After we were done opening presents and playing for a bit, we took a few balloons and filled them with our love to send up to heaven for Josh. Mike loves doing this and it's been a pretty nice release for Steve and I too. It's strange and a little unnerving sometimes when you can't do anything for your child that you still love. I have to say that is the part I hate the most!!!
Anyway, we also sent more love up to heaven that afternoon after a wonderful Christmas lunch with the Woolstenhulme side. It was neat to see the sky filled with blue, white, and gold and in my little heart feeling like someone understands. Mike enjoyed his Christmas thoroughly and still thinks it's going to be Christmas on the few days we've gotten snow... too bad for him it doesn't work that way.

Happy New Year to all

Thanksgiving

2009-11-27T23:02:00.002-07:00

I don't feel like it would be the holiday season if we didn't express thanks for a few of the blessings we have been blessed with this year.

* Family, what would we all do without our families. Steven, Michael, and I are so very thankful that we have family and that our little family is together. On this earth I don't know if there is really anything else that could make me happier. ;) Our extended families are such a blessing! We are so thankful that we live close and I am so thankful that I have been able to call my mom/dad to just talk and get advice, support, or just a hug when I've needed it.

* This wonderful gospel.... so this is the glue that makes the whole family thing the most wonderful thing. Knowing and feeling that we can be together for the eternities has helped us so much during the past 10 months. I can't imagine what my mental state would be without the knowledge the Lord has sent to the earth. Knowing that I/we have a loving Father in Heaven watching over us who sent a willing Savior to sacrifice for us, makes the daily grind/frustrations much easier. I am so thankful that I am a member of this wonderful church!

* Michael!!! He is such a joy, a blessing, and strength to Steve and I. We really enjoy being his parents. Of course we all have challenges with our kids, but I can't imagine not having him be apart of our little slice of family. He's an imaginative child that continues to bring smiles to my face everyday. He has a tremendous amount of patience for me as a mother and sometimes he surprises me with how matter-of-fact he can be about things. I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to be his mom and that I get to see him grow.

* Joshua ~ even though he is not on this earth with us any longer, his time with us here brought a lot of growth and even more at his passing. He was a joy to have in our home, he was loving and loved to be cuddly with me. Josh was always about business, even in play he seemed to have a purpose as to why he did something a certain way. I am so thankful I had him here, even though it was brief and I am thankful to know that he is busy on the other side doing the Lord's errand.

* Steve. My sweetheart. We don't always see eye to eye, but he's so very patient with me (seems to be a running thing). He knows what I need a lot of times before I need it and if he doesn't he isn't afraid to just ask and admit he doesn't know. He puts up with my random "this has to be done before bed" binges on cleaning, crafts, or whatever and the best and my most favorite: he helps me laugh everyday! He's been a shoulder when I've needed it, even when it's been very unexpected and a tremendous support during this past year. I don't think I could have gone through these trial with anyone else and come out without anger. I just love him so very much!

There are of course so many other blessings that I have received; I just wanted to share those today. Happy Thanksgiving yesterday!

Halloween 2009

2009-11-07T12:22:00.010-07:00

Halloween was really fun this year! I took on the challenge to fashion Michael a "Wild Thing" costume. It didn't turn out how I pictured it in my mind, but Mike was super excited about it and that is what really mattered. I know it's kind of "white trashy" but I ended up using duct tape on his shirt because I couldn't get my other thought to work out on his shirt and I was running out of time at 11:45 pm. Steve was really helpful with calming me down when I got frustrated with my inadequacies in sewing... so kudos to him! ;) One thing I wish we would have taken advantage of sooner was a pumpkin walk in Shelley. We thought it was going to be like the years before and nothing really spectacular, but we were wrong! This year a scout used it as a food drive for his eagle project and it was awesome! They had displays of pirates, sponge bob, Horton the elephant, veggie tale stories, and a whole lot more. The pictures aren't that great because we didn't think to bring our camera, but it was awesome!

Michael just before his preschool Halloween party... I even was adventurous and made dirt and worm cupcakes... no pictures of them

Our pumpkins... we used a drill for the freckles and the disco ball. They aren't the best pictures, but they work!

Our wonderful leaves and our familia! What a wonderful life!!!

I also couldn't resist this picture of Steve. Mike and I found these cheap glasses at the dollar store and played with them for a few days before we made Steve put them on.

So the pumpkin walk will have to wait 'til later. I don't know if i will ever catch up!

Some Sept. and Oct. Pictures

2009-11-01T21:32:00.009-07:00

We've had some fun the last couple of months. Seems like there was always something going on. Halloween will have to come another day. So here are some pictures. Hope you like them

The Dino dig for the preschool was great fun! Steve went with Michael's class and he even seemed to enjoy himself... he was behind the camera in most pictures! For a few weeks after Mike wanted to play the dinosaur game. It was kind of like red light/green light. It's been fun and he is all about the dinos lately especially with a new cartoon called dinosaur train on pbs... he loves learning about all the new stuff and I'm sure that Santa will be asked for something to do with dinos! September also brought the AZ cousins to Idaho for Heber's funeral. They ended up staying an extra week to help out with the fam. business, so Michael was able to spend some time with his cousins Ian and Isaac. The best part... football game with grandpa and dad! Go Shelley Go! They had a great time and as you can seen from the picture... they all came home tuckered out! ;)

Super hero moments with dad... what fun that day was! I'm making Michael a super hero cape with matching pjs for Christmas. I'm really excited about it... I'll have to post a picture of them when I'm done. I'm making a couple for Ella and Kadied (twin girls of our friends) too. Anyway, what more fun can you have than playing with dad, huh? two super heroes doing the dishes... truly... MY HEROES! (Steve might need a cape too, what do you thing?)

And of course the pumpkin patch! Another preschool field trip that was loads of fun! The kids got to pick out their own pumpkin and then played around in the straw maze for about 1/2 hr. It was extra special because Mike had a special friend, our neighbor Beck, with him.
Preschool that day was pretty much a party. They went to the pumpkin patch first and then when they got back to the school it was only 10 minutes to the homecoming parade and then time to go home. Pretty easy day don't you think?

Nine Months has gone by...

2009-10-29T13:36:00.011-06:00

(Christmas 2008... trip to SLC for Temple Square lights and Christmas at Grandma's house )

I hope that no one takes me for a mother who is not able to see past the pain of losing a child. I can and do, but curiously the significant "time frames" of infants has come into play with our little Josh's passing. Ya know 1 wk, 1 mo., 3 mo., 6mo. 9mo., etc. This last one... 9 months... has been rough. The weekend of our "9 mo. anniversary" was marked by three people that we have loved and cherished.

October 16th was the 1 year mark for the Gemar family. Keirsten has been missed by them and the extended family for a year now.Which in my mind triggered a lot of questions. How do you "celebrate" or "commemorate." Being naive and ignorant to the feelings of losing a loved one a few years ago I would have thought, "why celebrate or continue grieving... we know where they are and we know the plan." But the Lord has given me experience and in experience you learn and hopefully grow from it... sometimes painfully.

(waiting for the bus fall 2008)

October 17th was Grandpa Heber's 1 month mark. Dorothy seems to be doing well. She keeps busy and truly that helps! He's missed, but we are thankful that we were able to know him before he passed. Mike likes the thought of Heber being in Heaven with Josh playing or watching football.

Those two realizations that weekend reminded me that October is set up like January was this year and so Sunday Oct. 18th was a night of remembering things. Thankfully time and the Lord's help has softened the things of that evening (Jan. 18), but it's still the night that everything was put into motion and the night that lead to our little one being taken home just past midnight on Jan. 19, 2009.

We are very thankful that we had our little boy here for as long as we did. Josh was a joy and a blessing in our home. At times it was challenging. In June of 2008 he was officially, and in my mind finally, diagnosed with autism... he mostly had hypersensitivity to sensory stimuli and textures especially with food, he was behind developmentally and also with his speech. But even with the struggles of trying to figure out how to afford therapy, make sure he's getting all the help he needed at school, make sure he could socially interact with others his age at some point... he was worth all that time, all the worry, all the love we were able to have together. Josh had a big heart and loved everyone around him... sometimes they didn't know it. Mike and Josh would fight about almost everything, but they always loved each other! The laughter that would come out of their room during bedtime or nap time in complete darkness was a wonderful sound to fall on my ears! Boy! I miss that!

I am so very thankful for the Lord's mercy on my little one. Josh does not have to go through all the trials of this world nor struggle with the limitations he had anymore. It's a blessing and a curse at the same time for Steve, Mike, and I. We miss having him in our home, in our arms so very much, but we know it is for our good, his good, and just part of our journey to being an eternal family. Knowing we have Josh on the other side waiting for us and working towards the Second Coming, put the plan of salvation in another light for us. Sometimes as Latter-Day Saints we "believe" all the things we are taught, but they don't seem real or a matter of actual salvation. When daily we go through a host of smoke screens put up by the opposition to make what is real look fuzzy and not so important or not to be taken so seriously. What a blessing it is to have the gospel of Jesus Christ on this earth! I can't wait for our family to feel more complete again!

On Jan. 19 2009 our little one was gone. Just his earthly body remained and the tears of his family. Josh had been sick for about a week and it was determined that it was just the flu, but what we didn't know is that Josh had a metabolic disorder that made the flu not just a normal sickness that everyone gets and gets over. The flu triggered Reye's syndrome in his body. (by-the-by... I found out September is national Reye's Syndrome month... ribbon color is blue) The bigger problem is that we didn't find that out until we received that autopsy in February. The doctors in Idaho Falls and down at Primary Children's Hospital couldn't figure out what was going on. His oxygen levels just would not stabilize, so we were going to go on his first plane flight to Salt Lake to get better care than they could give us in Idaho Falls. Small and simple things really were put in place to help us... the Lord was really mindful of us. The ER doctor in IF was a man who went to high school with Aaron and his family knew ours, a friend of Steve's was working at the hospital that night too, my parent's and sister were taking care of Mike in the waiting room, and other things that really helped. The Spirit was very strong in our little room at the hospital that night and I know that I will never be able to forget or deny the Lord's love and plan for me and my family. In the things that I've learned about leaving this life... the one that sticks out the most is something that President Kimball says in his little booklet called "Destiny or Tragedy." He basically says that the body has to physically die somehow. That has helped in the sense that everything they did to save Josh should have worked... even with Reye's , but didn't. Every effort was made to help us keep our son here, but ultimately Josh is and was needed with our Father in Heaven more and I think he knew that and accepted it.

I've not written any of this to offend, so please don't be. I just realize that I've needed to write this and that my family has needed to know and understand what this is like, how it feels, and not to be "weird" about the elephant in the room. It might be there for awhile longer because mourning and grief is a BIG process; bigger than I ever thought it would be. But I'm still me, we are still us, and we love all of our family so very much!

Cherished and loved he will always be
3-9-05 to 1-19-09

Thursday Thought

2009-10-15T11:42:00.002-06:00

Whoa! Did I actually use a nifty title ;) ? Anywhoo... I am basically finished working at night now, so I have idle hands. Thanks to my sister and sister-in-law, I followed links on their blogs that now have me addicted to crafty hands- on ... in short really fun blogs and websites. Today while I was scanning to find something fun to craft up I came across a really neat quote on one of them and thought I really need to share it!!!

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.
I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.
I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.
I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.
I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."
— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Disclaimer: I found the quote on Little Miss Craft Pants , so I have no idea if Sister Hinckley said this or not. But I think it's a great attitude we all could stand to get into!

P.S. i do hope to get my new addiction under control, but my modpodge has been out quite a bit lately! :)

For those who haven't...

2009-10-10T23:21:00.004-06:00

For those who aren't close, here is a picture of Joshua's final headstone.

Wow! what a strange thing to have to say!

Passing of Grandpa Heber

2009-09-24T13:10:00.004-06:00

This past week has been a very full one. Last Thursday night Steve's grandpa passed away. Thankfully we had gone over Wednesday night and said our goodbyes... even Mike. I am very thankful that Heber didn't have to suffer any longer with his illness and sad that Grandma Dot will have to be without her sweetheart for awhile.

I had the opportunity to help them once a week "clean" their house. I was surprised the things that I learned and began to cherish about them. My most favorite was how tender and selfless they were with one another. They both have had plenty of health problems and they had to rely on each other. For quite awhile I can remember Steve telling me about his grandpa having to take care of Dot and in the last year it's been the other way around. I think their example they showed in their own home has helped me want to be a much better companion to my own sweetheart.

Mike was blessed to know his Great Grandpa and somehow it seemed that they had a good relationship for two people who hardly saw one another. I am grateful for the love that Heber showed Michael and that Mike was always excited to go to great grandma and grandpa's house with me. it was a great blessing to feel the bond of love they shared. Heber and Dot always took the time to tell Mike that he loved him. Something I'm sure we can all do a little more.

Heber is now the 3rd family member on Steve's side of the family to be taken home... all on the Hansen side. Keirsten passed away last October, than Josh in January, and now Heber this past week. Steve and I hope that they were there to help greet him. So this year has been full enough of loved ones leaving.

Heber's passing has churned up emotions that I didn't know were so close to the surface, but it's been wonderful to remember and accept again the Lord's plan for all of us. We hope that all of our family members know just how very much we love and appreciate them. We are so thankful that this life is not all, we are so thankful that there's more and that we'll still have these relationships, bonds of love, and joys after it's our turn to move on to the next. Won't it be great to remember all those who have gone before us to help us! It will be a much anticipated day in this little family to be reunited with our loved ones who have moved on to a much better place.
(Wilma, Keirsten, JoshuaJay, and now Heber)

Heber's funeral will be on Saturday morning and his obituary can be viewed here.

Kid's say the funniest things!

2009-09-12T09:52:00.003-06:00

So this morning at breakfast I had a gut busting laugh session with Mike. It went like this:

Mike: Look it's like a wheel (his bowl)

Me: Oh, ya it is like a wheel. They're both circles. (I'm thinking that's great! )

Mike: Watch! (and he spun his cereal bowl around with milk and all still inside... no spills) Whoo!! fifty dollars! "A." One "A" ding Whoo!

Steve and Mike have been watching Wheel of Fortune for an after dinner treat and mike just loves it! Before he was done with this mornings little performance he had me "solve the puzzle" with his help of course. the answer was "ABC"

I'm Michael Dean Hansen and I approve this posting

Many Adventures update

2009-09-07T15:29:00.007-06:00

Well we've finally started preschool again! Mike has been so excited and after a slip up on days and times Mike was finally off and rearing to go! It was a little bitter sweet for Steve and I. There was that strange feeling that something wasn't right and later realized that it was the fact that it was just Mike getting on the bus, not Mike and Josh. BUT, we know that Josh is doing important work for the Second Coming.
(picture: Fist day of school and so ready to go! We had been waiting for about 1/2 an hour. )

Mike has been asking a lot of questions lately about where Josh is and is starting to understand things a little better. He no longer thinks that the funeral home is Heavenly Father's house and that he could find Josh there. He's starting to accept things as they are, but on lonely days when the other kids are at school in the mornings, it's hard to watch him be alone. I guess we've had a hard realization on just how much a parent's love is part of our every fiber. Mike's little personality is blossoming and hopefully he continues to be excited about life and smiling about almost everything.... he doesn't smile about new food, it's not his favorite thing to have to try. ;) He loves to help with everything... what a blessing! He loves to sing in primary and loves Sister Jones (his sunbeam teacher!). Mike is such a special boy, I think he already understands how to help others who are having a hard time and is very sensitive to others' needs. I am so glad that Heavenly Father choose me to be his mom.

Last week in church, Mike gave a talk in primary. He did a wonderful job talking about the Temple. We wrote his talk kind of based on what he told me from the primary trip to the visitor's center. I guess he kept telling Sister Callejas that he would go to the temple when he was 17 AND when a little old temple worker opened the baptistry door to see who was outside he zipped past and tried to go in. I can just see the Bishop's and primary leaders' faces!!! But they knew it was an innocent mistake and Mike got the opportunity to have some special "attention" from the Bishop the rest of the activity. ;)

Mike is still having a little trouble with his sensory processing disorder, but he is still doing well. sometimes it's a challenge to remember that we need to take things slow or to give him more warning than usual when going somewhere, but he's do really well and we are really proud of him! We hope that our families and friends understand that this challenge is an ongoing thing, but that we are still making progress and as with anything there are set backs and times when it "flares-up".
Love you all!

2009-07-30T17:08:00.003-06:00

I want to write about my Michael moo. He is such a wonderful blessing and joy to have in our home. He brings us new adventures everyday and what fun they are! in June Mike and Steve went on the father/son camp out up at green canyon hot springs. Mike had so much fun and still talks about going on another "picnic" with dad, "only boys" he tells me. He had fun with his friend Jonas who went up too. They went swimming and played with a stray dog. They set up tents, ate hot dogs, and I'm sure he was spoiled more than he should have been.
Steve was very daring I have to say, he let Mike sleep in his very own tent ALL BY HIMSELF! Probably good that I didn't know that until after they were safe and sound at home. ;)

Mike is so full of energy and life! He loves playing super heroes. The green hulk that is "so bad" and SUPER Y are his favorites. he even thinks that when he is playing pretend he has to do a spin to change characters! I love it!!! He's become so inquisitive about things and wants to do everything himself, which can be a problem, but what's life without the little adventures of experience? Oh! I just love this boy!

I'll have to find pictures from the camp out later
does anyone else have problems finding pictures on the computer? I guess that's what I get from only having steve put them on the computer ;)

Six months and trying to move forward

2009-07-30T16:24:00.006-06:00

We have "hit" and moved through the 6 month mark. It's not been easy, but we've truly been blessed by so many of our neighbors and friends who still remember that we are still grieving, still trying to understand and accept God's will for our little family. We've learned quite a few things and hope that our memories will remain vivid of the joy we all had together when we were complete and not missing one.

Life does push us on though and I've found that sometimes it's a good thing. It seems (at least at the moment) that the old saying "time heals" is either not true or we all try to rush things faster than we should. I had this naive thought that I would already be "okay" and back to normal. I didn't want to accept the "stigma" of the thing it seems a lot of people tell you... "new normal." But it really is true. Our home is quieter and not so hectic, some days I wish for the challenges because i feel guilty not having to struggle as much anymore. I wish the guilt I feel would make some type of difference, but it doesn't and really, I am thankful that things are a little easier. Just wish it didn't "get easier" this way.

I've found it hard to be with family sometimes. They have their children, their families are whole, mine doesn't feel that way. It feels oddly out of place, like we are just visiting a strange place and we will get back to normal hopefully soon. In all actuality it is that way. We all are "just visiting." Having a perspective like that has helped us try to keep the spirituality that we were blessed with during the first month or so. I hope that in the future there are many days of happiness and less days of sorrow.

Joshua Jay Hansen
March 9 2005 ~ January 19 2009
Oh, how we love and miss our little boy

Just some pics.

2009-06-13T00:48:00.009-06:00

These are just few pictures that make my little heart smile!

Mike on his b-day. Yes he did have a birthday... it was just a little difficult that's why we've not said a whole lot. he loved his helmet though... just couldn't get it on right the first few times.

This is "wall-e" Mike thought Josh looked like wall-e when they were helping Steve clean out his truck last fall. And we love that we have this picture!

1. Josh as John Wayne. At least that's what I think. He was always serious and down to business with things even when he was "playing" My mom always told me that play was a child's work.
2. Mike and Josh were so proud of the headbands that they made at school. 11/08
3. Our Michael Moo on his last day of OT with the two therapists that worked with him and Josh. The one in the yellow( Race, bet he was given a hard time in school) was actually in our wedding line and worked mainly with Mike. The one in the blue (Sean) worked mainly with Josh and helped us so much! It was such a wonderful blessing to have that experience and I learned sooooo much from them! The stop sign was Mike's last minute thought, I'm not sure if he didn't want the picture or just his own little quirk.

This last one is from last weekend. Steve and I thought it was just so beautiful and a wonderful break from the rain. ;)
Hope you all know how much we love you and how much we appreciate the support you've given us in these past trying months. We know that we've been truly blessed by the prayers and love that's been offered in our behalf. Thanks for being understanding and willing to listen when we've needed it. It's helped more than I can express.

Fun with wax

2009-06-13T00:42:00.002-06:00

So I found out that you can wax your fiber glass shower surrounds and you can just use car wax on it! I was so excited because it's suppose to help keep them cleaner, shiny looking and come on who wouldn't want that?! Anyway, so I did one wall and it looks wonderful, so being ambitious , a couple of days later I started on the rest. I put on the first coat and then you're suppose to let it dry and then lightly buff it off with a towel. BUT I got a phone call and lost track of time, so an hour or so later I went back and now......

I get to strip all the wax off and start over!!! Not so fun.

By the By VINEGAR strips wax off. It just takes a bit of patience.

just a thought ~ F.E.A.R.

2009-04-25T02:10:00.002-06:00

FEAR.... at one of the stake conferences a member of the stake presidency pushed this into my brain. He talked about how Satan puts fear into our hearts and minds to stop us from doing what we need to and what God wants us to do. He spelled it out this way:

F ~ false
E ~ expectations
A ~ appearing
R ~ real

puts into perspective doesn't it?! So why put off helping someone else, making a phone call, helping someone you don't know? Get up, get out, and do something good! Service will bring us an abundance of blessings.

2009-04-25T01:42:00.002-06:00

Things are being finalized more and more now. Josh's headstone will be here soon and his grave has been leveled out and is ready for sod. It's a strange feeling.

It's somewhat like the feeling when you are a kid and you're hoping your parents will let you do something, but in the back of your mind you know it's not going to happen. That false sense of hope pushes any other logical thoughts out and you hold on until the final verdict.

I guess I've held onto a hope that I'm going to wake up and none of this will have happened. No more "elephants in the room" when people talk to me or looks of, "what do I say to them." Just back to what was "normal." But, I know that's not what's going to happen. This is our new "normal." Making memories, but only with three not four.

It's been a strange trial and blessing to have Steve's cousin to share this with. Their family experienced this almost 3 months before we did when their daughter Kiersten Gemar passed away in her sleep from a seizure. Graig and Shellie have been such a blessing. They helped us so much especially that week up to the funeral, sending us text messages to help bolster us up and knowing that they are continuing on this journey of acceptance, sorrow, and joy... it's just nice to know there is company.

I guess what I've been trying to get out is swirled thoughts that may only make sense to myself. Hold your little ones close, give one more second of patience, one more hug before they get on the bus, allow yourself to view this life as just a piece of the eternal perspective. Enjoy the challenges, learn from the frustrations, find joy in this wonderful journey.

Small thoughts of missing a brother.

2009-04-08T15:58:00.003-06:00

It's been awhile, but today with how windy it is outside it made me remember something Michael asked the day after their birthday. Michael was wanting to make a deal. It's the sort that just tore at my heart strings. He came running out of our family room with all his birthday balloons and asked with this beautifully hopeful face if he could let them go up into the sky to go to Heavenly Father.

The weekend before we celebrated Mike and Maddie's Birthdays with the extended family. All the cousins and family drew (tried to) something on a balloon to send up to Josh for his birthday.(Thanks Megan for recording it) It was really neat, thanks everyone.

Anyway, I asked him why he wanted to do that and with such a bright face he explained (as best he could with his limited vocab.) that he thought Josh could come down and play if he sent his balloons up to Heavenly Father in the sky. Oh, how I wish it were that easy!

Mike as really taken this okay and adjusted well. He still misses him terribly some days, but reassures Steve and I that we will see Josh again when it's our turn to go up to Heavenly Father. We've been really blessed to have such a matter-of-fact kind of kid in our home. He brings us so much joy!

Headache

2009-02-25T15:34:00.003-07:00

two in one day, I'm going for the record! Today I've been fighting a migraine. Not the most wonderful thing, but you just plug along right? Michael noticed that I wasn't feeling 100% and asked me what was wrong. I told him that my head hurt. Michael promptly went to the closet and got a band aid out. He stuck it to my forehead and looked really worried to see if band aids really worked. To humor him I told him it made me feel a lot better and left it there for an hour or so. What a sweetie!

Thoughts

2009-02-25T15:14:00.003-07:00

Most everyone knows that our little Joshua was needed elsewhere with our Father in Heaven. It's been a rocky road of peace and then frustration and then peace and then sometimes anger. We miss him so much! At the present moment I do so much miss holding him and hugging him, I miss his little voice that was just coming out. He worked so hard at speech therapy that in the last year it's been a tremendous joy to have him speak to us without so much pushing. I miss his high pitched scream, his laughter and fighting with Michael, I miss his singsong voice saying, "coming mom." I miss hearing Michael and Josh giggle when they were suppose to be asleep and so many other things. But that's not the purpose of my writing today. Today I wanted to share a poem by Neil A. Maxwell. I heard it on a John Bytheway talk and it's helped bring a little "understanding" on rough days. Here it is:

My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I do not choose the colors
He worketh steadily
Oft times He weaveth sorrow
And I in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.
Not till the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And explain the reasons why
The dark threads are as needful
In the skillful weaver's hands
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned ~~

Isn't that the truth? We don't have to know or even understand every little thing that God is allowing or doing. We do need to know and understand that He loves us and that this life is only a moment. We so often speak of looking at things with an eternal perspective and sometimes it's a cliche` when we are having a rough time. But I KNOW that this life is but a moment and that the suffering, sorrow, etc. won't be forever. They may be painful, but how can we think or believe for that matter that the Lord doesn't know first hand how we feel. We are never the only one who knows our pain or for that matter our JOY ;) He has not and will not leave us to suffer alone, but we must be willing to allow His love and influence in our lives. Steve and I know that Josh is still part of our family and Michael knows that too. We know that we can be together as family eternally someday. It's not that we just want to get to be with Josh again, It's that we want our family together again. So for now we will take little steps forward and pray that our hearts and minds will stay softened to the will of the Lord.

Old is New again

2009-01-07T15:05:00.003-07:00

It's the new year and it's been fantastic so far. We are getting back into the groove of things and Mike and Josh are now sunbeams in primary!!! WOW! But really today I'm writing because I have been really touched by a Christmas present that I was given from my father. He took some of our old family movies and put them on a dvd... he even put the woody the woodpecker cartoon that we love so much on there! It's been so much fun to watch and relish in how simplistic life can be if we get out of the way! I really hope, more than that, I desire for my children and those I love to enjoy and cherish life!

Where today we see that adults and children...etc... have an insatiable appetite for "stuff", I want so much to teach my children different. As I watched the movies it was wonderful to see how happy we all were. I loved seeing Becky dancing with her doll @ Grandma Pence's house, being happy with her grocery bag pompoms, Jennie dancing the hula and her b-day party bow hat, Aaron playing t-ball and making faces every chance he got, and my parents...young and probably struggling with things that I am now. It was sad that Steph wasn't on there, but these videos are from when I was an infant... so of course I was all cute and following everything Becky did.
What a wonderful gift! It's going to be wonderful showing my kids that Grandpa once had a full head of hair and that their Great Grandparents once had mobility! I'm so excited to have this piece of family history!

Christmas

2008-12-29T13:22:00.003-07:00

Well, like so many others this year I am late with wishing everyone a merry Christmas! I hope that our families know how much we love and appreciate them especially with all the support and love that they send our way.

Our Christmas was really nice. We had a quiet day on Christmas Eve and spent the most part of that day making and taking treats to our neighbors. That night we ventured out of Shelley and went to GrandmaGrandpaBean's house, as Mike calls it... Josh just calls it "Bean home"... and went to go look at lights. It was really fun. I don't know whether Grandma and Grandpa enjoyed it, but the rest of us did. It's so nice to see what creative things people have done for the enjoyment of others. There was one house in our little town that put their lights to music. They even did live dj-ing every night. The night we stopped and watched a little boy came on the radio and told everyone to not make-out in front of his house! It gave us a laugh! :)

We had an adventure on the way home that night from the storm that was blowing through, but it was worth it to get the time with our family. The boys, mostly Mike, really understood the whole Santa thing this year. for the last 3 or 4 days up to Christmas he would wake up and ask if Santa came. It was really fun to see how excited they were about all of it this year. Josh was mostly excited about the snow and he loved going sledding on Christmas Eve.

Christmas day was fine and brought some much fun, but SPD did start to get the best of the boys towards the late afternoon and we had to jet out of grandma and grandpa's house. The boys love the quilts they got and especially the dinos that Santa brought. I will be glad when the batteries wear out.

Some of the best things that happened in the week up to Christmas were:
1. Josh and Mike went around wherever we were and wished everyone a MERRY CHRISTMAS at the top of their lungs.
2. They also kept singing happy birthday to Jesus. I had explained that it was His birthday and that Santa was bringing us a present to remind us it was Jesus' birthday. I should have that it through and came up with a better relationship between the two, but maybe next time.
3. Jingle bells in our house was changed to "jiggy bells" courtesy of Josh
4. And last, but not least one of the best things that happened was the peace and light that we felt in our home.

We hope that everyone enjoyed their Christmas!

Mom Days

2008-12-18T16:09:00.002-07:00

to be honest today was one of those days! I didn't want to have the name "Mom". I know that everyone has one of these days and maybe more than one a week, but oh! today was my day.

We had a lot to do, including a Christmas party @ preschool and therapy. So when they got up this morning and were dragging their feet I cringed. We got to the Christmas party that is 3 blocks away just fine, except that we were 10 minutes late... we just couldn't get moving. After that we came home and they had some chill out time before we had to go to Blackfoot for therapy.

Everything went fine until 1/2hr before we needed to leave. Every time I walked out of the room they started fighting! So we were 10 minutes late for that one too! Therapy went really well until the last 10 minutes... what is it with the 10s? Michael and Josh both had a melt down and it was in a hallway that echoes horribly. They started to settle a little before we left, but then it started up again once I told them we had to take the elevator instead of our norm... the stairs. They were just too slippery.

Anyway, it took me almost 10 minutes, there it is again, to get them from the basement(where therapy is), to the elevator (hissy fit at the door to the stairs), then we went up and down twice before I could get them to get out of the elevator which entailed me carrying them both out football style and two nurses holding open the doors.

to end on a positive note, I really do feel like my children are a blessing and I really enjoy being a mom! Life is really a wonderful adventure and I am so thankful that I have my family to experience it with; I could just go without the "mom days"

IT'S HAPPENED!

2008-11-30T22:40:00.002-07:00

I'm not sure if I am excited, sad, or just plain relieved. This morning in church I was was released from the primary presidency. I definitely will miss being in primary, being around the kids, and serving with the women that are in primary, but it also has lifted some stress off my shoulders.
I guess the weird thing is that I thought I would be more sad about being released and in a strange way I feel a little guilty that I'm not more upset about it. It's nice to feel peace with these things and really if it wasn't suppose to be things would have worked out better.

I learned a lot of things while serving in primary for the last 5 years in different wards. I've learned:
1. no matter how young or old or what kind of circumstances they come from, you can see the light of Christ in their eyes.
2. as adults we learn more from the primary kids than they probably learn from us.
3. The small and simple answers that come up each week in primary can solve any problem if we adults are willing to let them.
4. If you need a boost, primary songs are always easy to sing, even off tune, and invite a wonderful Spirit into the home, car, etc.

There are a lot more, but those are the ones that I seemed to notice the most.
I just have to say that primary is wonderful... Relief Society will be interesting. Since Steve and I have been married, I have only been in there a total of 3 months total time! I'm sure it will be great, but no singing off key in there :(

To Be Thankful...

2008-11-26T14:47:00.002-07:00

It is that time again. The leaves are all gone, but a few and the garden is moslty cleaned up. It signals to me that it is time to give and say THANKS! One of my favorite quotes is, "Happiness doesn't mean that everything is perfect." That definetly describes our year thus far and just life in general. We are happy and things are not perfect; and we are thankful for so many things! We have been blessed by the many people who love and help our children, especially Josh with his delays. We have been blessed so much by our family and friends who love us and are concerned with our welfare. We are so thankful for the opportunity that we have had to serve in callings in the church. We are thankful that the Lord has been mindful of our needs. I have wonderful VTs who know me and love me, what a wonderful blessing! We are so thankful for the opportunities that have come our way and we are especially grateful for our Savior who has done so much for us. We hope that our families know how special they are to us and how much we love them!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

This is Halloween, this is Halloween, Halloween!

2008-11-07T16:38:00.006-07:00

Halloween is now over and it was somewhat eventful. The boys' got to go to an extra day of preschool for a party. They really enjoyed it. Josh went as an indian and Mike went as a cowboy since he didn't like the dracula costume I found for him. I drew a mustache on with my eyeliner, which he hated, but dealt with. Josh didn't know what to think of him at first. While Mike was putting on his boots, Josh got down on his hands and knees and studied Mike as if he wasn't sure who was really in the costume.

The next day was Halloween. We spent the whole day together as a family and really enjoyed it. We went and visted grandmas and granpas, had some pizza and Steve walked them around our little neighborhood wear his stilts. I'm just glad he didn't fall over... I don't know what the boys would have done... run or just cry? The stilts made Steve about 9ft... Oh I wish i would have gotten a picture!

Anyway, everything went fine until we got home...da da DAAAAA! Mike decided to launch all over his bed. The yucky part... he didn't come and get us, so we found it at 11pm right before bed. We've been doing the battle ever since and hopefully it is done and hopefully it will pass Steve and I... Josh is having his turn.

Josh wasn't about to let me take a picture... so with his mouth in ABC song position... this is as good as it got on Halloween.
His feathers on his headband were really cute... kind of "Dennis the Menace" looking.

I can kind of understand why Josh wasn't sure if it was Mike.

It's that time again! Halloween is here

2008-10-29T14:35:00.004-06:00

Well, life is as always been an adventure. I seem to say that a lot, but that's what is continues to be. We've had our first snow, not that it stuck, and the boys are in the groove of school now that harvest break is over. I feel a little bad though, I thought the break was three weeks not two and so the boys missed an extra week. I kept wondering why the buses were still running. Oh well!

We also have harvested our pumpkin... I have to say that we did pretty well! Our pumpkin is 50 1/2 inches around and weighs somewhere between 35-40lbs. it is a beast. I want to use it for something other than just a jack-o-lantern, but I've yet to be enlightened to what or how.

Right before harvest break the boys went to a potato farm to pick potatoes. Josh was so proud of the bag he brought home. He picked about 12, and for his attention span that is fantastic. Michael also was so excited to show me what he got, but when he dumped out his bag he had 1 rock and 3 dirt clumps. I thought it was so funny so did Mrs. Hayes.

Now that Halloween is almost here we had to pick out costumes. yay! I found a great deal at joanns fabric store... 65% off so I came home with an indian costume that josh is so excited about and a vampire, which both Mike and Josh pushed away... I think Mike even went and tried to put it in the Halloween bin, so he didn't have to look at it. needless to say it's not going to be used. instead, Aunt Becky is lending us some cowboy gear for Mike and my boss Diane had just brought the boys some cowboy hats leftover from girls camp. Hopefully that will keep him happy. We will see, right?!

A realization

2008-09-26T16:13:00.002-06:00

we have been abundantly blessed lately and I guess with all the hussle and bussle around here lately Steve and I hadn't taken notice. This last week I have had my eyes opened. Last month my boss asked me to add more hours and become a supervisor... I thought great more income...... ahhhhh more time away from my boys, all 3. This last week has shown me the Lord's hand in it though. Mike and Josh love that they get to have two-on-one time with dad and Steve is really enjoying it. He even ventured to take them to a football game... yes I went too. Grandpa Larry was there and the boys loved looking through his binoculars or as mike calls them "a cheese". He thinks it's like a camera. :) I usually have a break in between helping people with their buildings so i get to help put the boys to bed and read stories or play quarterback with them.
We've also been blessed with a really good support system for the boys. They have the most amazing preschool teacher who loves them and has so much patience for them, Nursery leaders who sometimes can't get enough of them, OTs Sean and Race who help them with their confidence to do things and help them keep on track, Speech therapist who give Josh so much praise for trying so hard and who love Mike's own pronunciations, and grandparents who love them and want to help them with their challenges. It's been an interesting year and looking back on the last 9 months we've made wonderful progress. Mike's tantrums are basically gone, Josh's speech is really starting to pick up and he wants to communicate, we're working on the SPD stuff and finding new ways to make things work for what they each individually can do.
It's amazing how one day it can seem like a challenge and a burden and then down the road you understand what an opportunity and blessing they have become.

School is Here... Hooray!

2008-09-03T16:27:00.003-06:00

Well.... it's official school has started and we have made it through 2 weeks! hooray for that!!! The first 2 days I couldn't get Mike and Josh to eat breakfast because they were so excited for the bus, so they went hungry. Now don't take me wrong, I tried. I even took their little table to the door so they could eat and watch for the bus, but that didn't work. By the third day... Josh was finally hungry enough in the morning that he ate and ate... I think it spurred Mike to eat too. They love riding the bus... in fact they don't even say goodbye to Mom anymore unless I make them do it before the bus gets on our street!

The funny things in life

2008-08-08T16:14:00.003-06:00

I just thought this was funny the other day. Mike and Josh oblvously got bored and moved everything around in their room. Josh also had a bloody nose and smeared it across his face and arms. What fun huh? We love them all so much!

"Ketchup"

2008-07-21T14:44:00.006-06:00

The red death as we call it and Steve's favorite seasoning.
well not so much has happened as of late, but like everyone else you get behind on things and feel the need to catch up.
Steve just came back from a week at scout camp! yes, he was out of here the whole week... it was crazy! two of the 6 days I took on a neighbors 4 kids!!! i think I am okay with just two for now... being a mom of 6 is not what i want right now. We did have some fun and we actually survived going to the zoo... thank you Steph for helping me out!!!
Steve had a wonderful time and came home with such a wonderful spirit about him and of course enough stories about scout camp to last at the very least for two weeks. The best news is that 5 out of the 8 scouts that went up with our troop this year were asked to go up for the next two weeks to be on the camp staff!!! All of the scouts had a really great time and did over 90 hours of service while there including building a new bridge!!! They also had a great experience being involved in a flag retirement ceremony for the whole camp that retired I think 8 flags... everyone who was up there on Friday night just raves about it! This year all the boys decided to be friends even on Monday morning at 5:30 am before they left they all had committed to being good people... so much better and different than last year!!! Even I'm excited about it. Myself and two other wives of leaders who were up there last week were given a special award from our Bishop on Sunday to say thank you for staying home while our husbands played like boys again for a week.

We also finally defeated the enemy "tactile sense" in the NOODLE WARS and got Mike and Josh to eat spaghetti again!!! yea for progress. Steve and I were/are so excited! Life on the whole is great lately! We've had a great month... the 4th of July was wonderful and the boys are making quite a bit of progress in therapy. Josh is really working hard with his speech and is starting to put together some sentences. Mike is making more progress with his congnitive understanding and life is getting a little easier. I feel like I'm in immersion camp for understanding spd and autism. I'm not getting as mixed up with all the terms and I understand now how to intergrate a lot of activities to help the boys with moving forward.

This is Josh and his OT Sean in therapy socks to help with the proprioceptive input... Josh seemed to love it and I didn't mind it either when I had a turn. :)

Keep on Moving

2008-07-14T17:07:00.003-06:00

WOW! I can't believe how time goes by and how quickly things go. Life is fantastic! Mike and Josh are making some really good improvements with therapy and their speech. Josh especially is making some leaps with dealing with tactile sensations and we are focusing on finishing and tolerating "unfavorable" tasks... ya know anything a strong willed three year doesn't want to do.... anything! HAhaha. learning about spd has been really envigorating and exciting. It's really neat to see how everything... noise level and tone, visual stimili, textures of fabric, food, surfaces... effects all of our responses to things. I love all of this... granted I'm getting things mixed up, but it's been wonderful! We had a wonderful 4th of July with our families and especially the cousins!!! We'll have to put the pictures on here another time.

They boys love chocolate milk... I can't seem to have my breakfast shakes to myself any more!!!

And the Hansen saga continues...

2008-05-19T15:37:00.006-06:00

Life is such an adventure, isn't is? I know I use that a lot, but I can't think of any other way to describe it. Summer is here and hopefully good weather will stay, but with the ups and downs I'm not sure what joke is being played on us. today it's 80 outside, but by wednesday it's only going to be in the low 60s! I'm really getting anxious to get my garden in and see all the seeds sprout. I'm being a dutiful Idahoan and growing potatoes this year... we'll see what happens. i'm not so sure they will work.

Mother's day around here was pretty quiet... just what we needed. We went to church and then stayed home! it was wonderful. We missed being out at Becky's, but we needed time together as a whole family. It was really nice to have that. We all took a nap that afternoon and then Steve had the boys come wake me up. it was a really nice thing to wake up to three boys bouncing on the bed. The boys gave me their handprints and a poem and Steve gave me plant beds around my house and when we have time to go get it a lilac tree for the back yard.

Lately things have been so crazy trying to get applicaitons for therapy done.... which if anyone ever needs help with that I might be able to help with the whole 60+ page per child applications bleh!.. and haven't had much time for anything else. We are having a lot of fun though!

Steve's still enjoying work and has loved some of the challenges he's been given. Being a mom is great too... a little hectic, but who would trade the experience for something else? Mike and Josh are doing wonderful, they are moving a long really well with learning how to deal with their SPD and their speech is coming faster now. it seems really strange to think of what other 3yr olds do when mine are different. mike and josh have wonderful nursery leaders at church who also get to work with them sometimes at school. It's really nice to have a support system like that... not to mention most of the women i work with in primary are teachers. I've been doing a lot of learning lately about SPD and communications disorders and a little bit about autism. Sometimes I wonder why these little children have to go through these things, and not just my own kids. With the boys' therapy we meet a lot of families who have similiar situations or ones where they've had to come to terms that their child will not likely progress past a certian point. Steve and I feel so blessed to have been given Mike and Josh. Sometimes it's hard... when Mike decides to go mute for no reason or when Josh can't tolerate textures, but we wouldn't have asked for any other way. They are such a blessing and joy to our life and family. What an adventure it continues to be!!!

In the last month or so we've been having some fun with a baby and a dog. One of our neighbors had to go to some training in Boise for her job, so we got to have a baby in the house for a few hours a day for a week. it was so fun to watch how careful the boys were with him. I even caught mike trying to give a baby doll some of his juice because he saw how I was feeding Gavin. Josh really liked to be right next to him, I had gone outside to turn off the water and when I came back inside Josh had snuck into my room and was pretending to be asleep by Gavin. It was a lot of fun.

We also babysat a puppy for one of Steve's friends for a week. The boys loved him and he was beautiful! I don't think I want a dog now as much as I did before, but mike still looks for him in mornings. And Josh likes to pretend he's a dog and tries to drink out of a bucket now when he's outside!!!

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and once again it won't appear on our post right!!!

So I was wrong...

2008-03-19T13:59:00.006-06:00

Mike with too much cake....................Super Josh

The boys @ 6 months

It seems that I may have now be illiterate when it comes to using the internet, or maybe just technology in general. I guess just too much time singing along with Elmo, playing with paint, glitter and glue. I really do love doing it all though. Life is definetly proving to be a little different than I could have ever expected, but I guess that's why the new plan in our household has become, "plan to be surprised."

So since I have yet be able to attach our slide show or get the link to appear with our post here is the address where you can view it:

http://widget-25.slide.com/widgets/slideticker.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" quality="high" scale="noscale" salign="l" wmode="transparent" flashvars="cy=un&il=1&channel=1945555039030575141&site=widget-25.slide.com" style="width:426px;height:320px" name="flashticker" align="middle">

I hope it works! ;)

Family update

2008-03-16T21:29:00.003-06:00

We don't get to do this as often as we would like and by the time we get to it so much has happened it's hard to catch up. So we have left a slide show of a few pictures from the past months.
The boys' birthday has passed now and we had a great time just kind of having a quiet day. Since they are 3 (wow! that went fast) they now are in preschool two days a week to help them with their speech and spd (sensory processing disorder). We also go down to Blackfoot for other therapy once a week... so we keep very busy! Life has been really good to us this year so far and we've enjoyed the adventures we've taken so far. The most recent for our house was redoing the main bathroom. It was suppose to be a new kitched floor, but we found mold in the bathroom and there was a lot more than we thought!!!! But Steve did a great job and we have some great neighbors, family, and friends who helped us out with demo and putting it all back together. The boys enjoyed it a lot because we had boxes of all sized and we had to go to Grandma's house to shower and take a bath each day. We hope that the rest of the year continues to go well! Just click on the link we're still trying to figure out why it won't let us put the slide show on.

Christmas here and gone

2008-01-14T14:56:00.000-07:00

Well it's already 2008 and more than month since we have updated. Like everyone else life gets away from you and you get busy.
Our Christmas was wonderful! We weren't able to do all the fun things the seasons brings, but we were able to enjoy time together, on occassion. The boys let us sleep in!(sort of) Santa came a little early and we got to see what he left for us before Steve and I went to bed. On Christmas Eve we spent time with our families and took time to just relax... not something we get to do very often. That night we decided to give the boys an adventure (sort of) and took a sleigh ride to Grandma and Grandpa Hansen's house. The boys loved riding in the sled, but I think more... they loved being big boys and helping dad shovel the snow before we left.
We had Grandma and Grandpa Hansen and Aunt Mel and her roommate, Mickey, over for breakfast which was hectic as always, but fun! One thing we've learned is that we need to take pictures! All of our Christmas morning with Larry, Susan, Mel and Mickey are on their cameras!!!, so those aren't posted. We all had a good time and then we went to Grandma and Grandpa Woolstenhulme's house. The boys' got to see all their cousins and play with uncle Aaron and Aunt Megan... that doesn't get to happen a lot so it was really neat. We all got a good laugh at Becky for trying on Cordell's moon boots and almost biffing it into Steve!
What a laugh! We had a great Christmas and wish that the day could have been longer! We missed being able to see any of the 7 grandparents that day, but hoped that they knew we were thinking of them and love them very much!
We have had a very blessed year and hope this coming one will be just as good!

Thanksgiving has past...

2007-12-06T15:50:00.000-07:00

Thanksgiving has come and gone... flown by really and Christmas is upon us very shortly. I just wanted to post the things that we have been thankful for in the past years together. I know that I can speak for Steven and I in this post when I say how thankful we are for the wonderful life we have been given. Obviously life isn't always sugar and spice, but we have been so blessed by the Lord. As of late we are especially thankful for the power and peace that prayer brings to each of us. We are thankful for our families and friends who have been willing to help us in the most random circumstances, willing to love us despite all of our short comings, and who have patience with us when we do idiotic things. I can't express how thankful and blessed we are for the opportunity to have two of the most wonderful children! Mike and Josh make our life so adventurous and full. It's hard to imagine adding another one someday, but that will come. I am so thankful for how gentle Mike is and how kind he is to Josh. Even when I give them both equal amounts of a snack... Mike offers some of his to Josh. And my little fly weight Josh is always so willing to give cuddles and kisses if he sees you sad. I know they were sent together for some reason beyond what I see. Sometimes we have a hard time dealing with two tantrums at once and having to buy more diapers than I want to ever see again, but the Lord has definitely sent us a bounty of blessings that we never would have received otherwise. What a glorious thing it is to be part of a family, extended family and especially a member of this wonderful gospel. WE are grateful for the help that Aunt Mel has given us in the past month... with so many meetings for our callings, Steve trying to help our neighbors, and me working at night it gets hectic... she has blessed us so much!
The last two thing I want to add is more personal, but seems not to get said enough. I have been given the privilege of having the most wonderful husband I could have ever asked for. He brings so much more of me than I thought I had. His generous spirit to those around us has brought so much to our family. He is working hard at teaching our children well and I love him soooo much! What things I ever did to deserve a man like him... I don't know.
The last thing I want to write before this becomes a church testimony meeting, is how thankful I am for our SAvior. I am so indebted for the sacrifice he made personally for me and still what I don't know if I will ever comprehend is the willingness he performed that great act with. He has paved our way and gives us a choice and for that I am eternally grateful.
We hope that as Christmas comes near, you will be able to have the joy, peace, and love you need. WE LOVE YOU ALL AND ARE THANKFUL FOR YOU!

In the Beginning....

2007-11-04T14:27:00.000-07:00

In the beginning was the Steve. And Mindy was with Steve. And Mindy and Steve were with each other. Then came there in the house two beings of male origin. One named Michael and the other named Joshua. And there were many diapers, tantrums, learnings, and teachings. (and if no one can tell this is Steven typing not me) (Me being Mindy)

Then there were blogs. And we liked the blogs. So we created a blog. And THIS... is our blog. Enjoy. Over to Mindy....

After trying to find some time for quite awhile... it finally happened! We are now officially bloggers... I know it's not all that exciting, but with how things run in our house sometimes.. it doesn't seem like we can ever get a minute to ourselves. And yes, we love the (...) thing.

This year has been wonderful! We had a great garden (I think I still have onions growing), we even had three pumpkins... the vine grew longer than our house, but it was fun. Our sunflowers did really well too and brought us lots of birds and bugs... bleh.

Anyway, Halloween was a blast! The boys had play group the day before and they went trick or treating to all the offices in the building. Needless to say they received too much candy for our own good. This year they both dressed up like rodeo clowns! It was really fun. The boys stood on our vanity and put make-up on me while I put their faces on. On Halloween we went to Idaho Falls and visited Grandma Woolstenhulme and Grandpa at his office. Although they were good while we were there... they decided they didn't want what was in the candy bowl and took a chocolate doughnut out of the conference room. :) Later on we went over to Grandma and Grandpa Hansen's house, but only for a minute to see them and Aunt Mel. All in all we had a great Halloween and the extra candy from our surrogate grandpas (Brother Drollinger and Ivan Hibbert) didn't hurt us one bit.
We also just wanted to drop in some other pictures of our family that just makes us smile. We hope that all is well with everyone.